When it comes to love I feel very unlucky. Always trying to figure out how not to do the wrong thing or say the wrong thing so my partner will accept me, love me and never let me go. How often have I fallen into this pattern, participated in the pattern and been on both ends of it.
i have been wallowing in sorrow and sadness at the loss of my love; at 54 I am heartbroken and sad, this time however I am as I said 54. While age doesn't make the pain any less what it does allow is the space for breath, the space for choice, the space for a new perspective. Now I have been hurting really bad, in the space between I find myself in inquiry asking a question "why am I suffering?" Am I suffering because I'm in love? Am I suffering because I had hope for the future that's not going to pan out? Am I suffering because I wanted something a certain way and can't accept it this this way?
I feel it is too complex to assign any blame to one cause of my suffering as I feel all are legit. Which is why this is so complex, relationships are based on two people's desire to grow together when the desire to grow together either is not there or goes away the relationship is doomed for failure. This desire is really a choice made by either individual, in order to discuss this please look out for my update to this issue.