I am coming to the understanding of why I have lived my life like a stone in a river rolling along with the current and not really staying in one place for any extended period of time. This is unlike the water plants growing in the river; their roots holding them in place against the current even as the rains come and the river grows stronger the plants stay firmly rooted in place.

Unlike the plants and the stone; the mind is what causes me to stay on the move, it's the uncomfortableness of sitting; sitting with thoughts or feelings of worth, loneliness, sadness and grief. I began to look at this and realized when I had them and when I didn't, what I found is profound and enlightening. When I have a daily practice of meditation this can sometimes exacerbate the dilemma as my mind was I disciplined to question or be curious as to the truth behind the thoughts. The Truth meaning can it pass the same test that philosophers have posed around the universe and wether or not we are even real; for example Descartes stated "I think therefore I am" meaning if I can think then surely I exist; frequently my mind will have thoughts of what is this life all about my struggles with loneliness and depression. I really believe that perhaps I am not the only one who has thoughts like this. What is true and profound is that these thoughts pass, they don't stay around for long, unless I give them power and energy, then they are detrimental to my mental health. I have found that focusing awareness on the present moment, honoring the here and now, combined with a daily ritual; a walk, silent meditation or prayer these feelings do not come up or when they do they pass quickly.

For me this is my life's work, I have seen many people experience this similar experience and when we become curious about them and realize their origin (in our mind) we can then begin to get control over our thinking. The old adage holds true, right thinking leads to right action.