Fathers Day 2019

I want to share with you my challenges as a father, growing up i was raised by a guy who I found out later in life was not my real father. This shaped my perspective on my whole life and through it into question, I began to be curious about the abuse, the treatment, the violence. After my divorce I was faced with a question, do I abandon my purpose out of anger and resentment? Or do I do the work to show up the best that I can? It was very very hard, I put my life at risk in 2012 going to Libya; I left the same day the ambassador was killed. After that I took a job in Danbury and tried to settle my spirit, it was hard, I was depressed and in a lot of pain. I need a reason to live, a purpose. So every morning when I would practice I would dedicate my practice to the ones I love, to my purpose, without this “purpose” my life has no meaning., my purpose are my children, my former wife, my girlfriend and partner, my family, my community. You see behind this purpose are lessons I have been taught by the many friends, lovers and partners along the way. One lesson in particular is the lesson of scaffolding, I have learned scaffolding is used to access hard to reach areas safely, I desire to create the scaffolding for my sons that enables them to reach difficult areas of their life safely, to do this is a gift. When I shift my perspective to how I desire to make a difference in the world it really revolves around seeing the areas my children want to gravitate towards, trust the Universe has their back (faith) and then… do my best to provide the support to help Michael and Liam achieve their dreams. I am not doing this in a vacuum; Siobhan (pronounced Shavaun) is the main force behind the success of these two boys, without her they would miss out on a great deal of Love. I learned this lesson from the many women I have surrounded myself with, thank you for your scaffolding to help me see clearer; this is the lesson of scaffolding, support to access those hard to reach areas that give us the best growth possible.

In order to get to this place I had to have an open mind and I always considered “what is it about my past that I dislike?” I use this as a compass and make choices based on having or creating a different experience; I really feel that this may push the boundaries of what we deem “normal”, and have learned to trust my gut, then I ask; why is the loving thing to do? When I practice this I feel then I am being a father. I don’t know for sure because I have wandered this earth without knowing my father, so to those of you who are sailing a ship of similar class, learn to trust your instincts, see the omens and take solace in knowing that you are not alone in this path, then go do the right thing and show up for others, notice how you feel? Happy Father’s Day. 🤗❤️🙏✌️🕉💫

Michael and Liam Paddling